Somewhere in my journey I’ve come across several authors (that I can’t cite) that say something about each of us being a composite average of the five people closest to us in income, hobbies, job status, family size, happiness and so forth. With so many immeasurable aspects to life, I view this maxim as more about how the people we spend the most time with have the most influence on us.
A related idea that I’ve come across is that having a personal group of advisors can be just as influential on our lifestyle and choices whether or not we personally know them. I’ll credit author Napoleon Hill and his book Think and Grow Rich for first introducing the concept to me years ago, and most recently Kenneth Soares in his meditation course Manifesting Your Ultimate Goals & Dreams. The concept is that you don’t have to be influenced only by the people in your daily routine that you have access to, but you can invite people you don’t really have access to (even dead people!) to help with decision making, perspective, judgment, creativity, problem solving and so forth. And you get to choose who and how many you have on this council.
Here’s some examples: One person might choose to have Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Buddha, and Mohammed on their own council to guide them in decisions from a spiritual or peaceful approach. Another person might believe hard work is the road to success, so they choose role models like basketball star Kobe Bryant, anthropologist Jane Goodall, Sir Richard Branson of the Virgin Group, steel tycoon Andrew Carnegie, actress Jennifer Lawrence, and President Barak Obama. A person can select anyone – it doesn’t have to be a famous person either.
Once your council is in place, as you’re facing challenges or simply experiencing life, things will come up where you’re processing what to do next and you think to yourself, “what would my advisors suggest I do?” It can be as simple as deciding to finish a book or go to sleep, and wondering “what choice would Kobe and the others make”? It can be bigger like, “Do I move home after losing my job or work twice as hard to afford my apartment in the city while rebuilding my career?”
Now, this idea of an advisory council is only as helpful as one’s knowledge of the people appointed to the board. If a person selected Warren Buffett to the council but knew little about him, the “advice” is only going to be assumptions based on media impressions. But a person that’s been a devout Christian all their life and has a good understanding of biblical teachings might ask, “What Would Jesus Do?” and really be confident in the decision to be made. I suppose, a side benefit to this exercise is a person might be drawn to study more successful or influential people…. which leads to more growth in itself.
So who would you put on your own advisory board? I’ve been wrestling with this off-and-on now for several months, and the players have changed. It’s a fun activity and it has led me to study some other people from history. Here’s my current list (in no particular order):
1. Tom Sisler. Tom is a former boss of mine at the Minneapolis YMCA. He is a great, principled man who was a tremendous mentor for me early in my career. (I had several great ones I was blessed to learn from at the YMCA including Greg Hanks and Randy Klinger). Tom was special, and I’d run through walls for him if he asked. I still would. He taught me a lot about service to others and the responsibilities and opportunities afforded to people entrusted with leadership. He also invested his energy in me, trusted me and gave me opportunities to grow. I probably haven’t seen Tom in 20 years, but I love that man to this day! I think he’s still with the YMCA in Iowa now with his wife Kathy – who is another of those awesome colleagues from back in the day.
2. James Bond. Yes, he’s a fictional character, but he’s a badass. He is self-reliant, versatile and highly skilled, classy, indestructible, timeless, cunning and witty with words. He gets to travel the world and he always gets the girl. He dresses well, drives kick ass cars, and has cool toys too. Growing up I was a fan of Bond movies and particularly was drawn to how he could seem to do anything and everything well. Yes, it’s Hollywood, but if 007 can guide me I’ll listen. (BTW, I think Sean Connery was the best of the Bonds, but Daniel Craig is my #2.)
3. Jimmy Buffett. I’m a big Buffett fan, and not only because of his music. As singers and guitar players go he’s nothing special, really. As an artist and performer he’s great. He’s fun. His music and the concert tailgate parties create a great atmosphere for letting our hair down for a while, escaping the burdens of responsibility or the trappings of society. I’ve enjoyed the books he’s written and the videos he’s been a part of too. (Ever see Hoot with a young Brie Larson?) But what I really admire about Jimmy is his business astuteness. His empire of Margaritaville restaurants, hotels, casinos, merchandise, tequila, beer, groceries, and so forth… His successful business empire eclipses his music success. I don’t really know how he’s done it but I’d love to learn. Is it just licensing his Margaritaville name and brand? Teach me, please! And let’s have some fun while doing it since, as Jimmy says, “the wrinkles only go where the smiles have been” (song: Barefoot Children in the Rain).
4. A spiritual figure. This one I haven’t settled on yet. I was raised a Christian, and while I don’t consider myself very religious, I do have a strong faith in the Holy Trinity. As I study other religions and view different cultures I am certain that there is a core set of human values that all religions share. Through my practices of yoga and meditation I’ve been introduced to many Eastern teachings of Buddha, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hahn, and even ancient poets like Rumi and Hafiz. They share many of the same spiritual principals of my Christian upbringing even if called by different names. I see some of them simply in how nature is created, modeled to the willing eye and mind. As a council figure, I’ll just call him/her “God” for now.
5. My Grandma Leff. Many of my best family memories growing up and into adult hood take place around my Dad’s birthplace – the family farm in Southwest Minnesota. My grandparents had four kids and nine grandkids, and for many holidays we’d gather to celebrate at The Farm. Grandma was always cooking and we’d have large meals together. Her homemade cinnamon rolls were the best, and I’d always look for them when we’d enter the farm house. I remember her as a good, patient woman with a huge heart. We never went hungry, and I’m not sure I ever saw her sit down to eat herself. For all the differences we had with each other – the crazy uncles and weird cousins – Grandma was to most of us the rock that anchored our family. At her funeral, my uncle described her in his eulogy as “generous”, always welcoming and sharing to others, especially to people who visited their home. No matter how poor or modest a farmer’s lifestyle, there was always enough to go around. Being an adult and having 15 years pass since the last family gathering at The Farm that I’d attended, my uncle’s words struck a nerve. They stick with me to this day. I’ll take this woman’s advice anytime.
There are others who come to mind and who’s influence I’d like in my life, but the 5 listed above are pretty constant. They cover business, spirituality, family, entertainment, leadership, money, and other aspects of life. They’ve been helpful to me at times in very real circumstances, it’s not just entertainment.
Who might you appoint to your own board of directors? Have fun with it.
View From The Tailgate 